Sit. Breathe. Love.

So as I think, and breathe and love the fact that I have managed to take on an incredible amount of work, I realise that I haven’t actually written down what I’m doing, why, when and where the idea came from!

So in my new blogging kinda life, here I am sharing it all with you.

A while back, 2013 actually, my husband and I lost a baby boy. I was 20-weeks pregnant and he was super poorly. It was tough, really tough. I gave birth, we had a funeral and we grieved. After that moment, life was never quite the same. There was a lot to deal with, a lot to think about and to be honest, life just kept moving on as it does with kids (M was almost 1 and T almost 9).

I was OK, it was hard but I plodded on as I know how to do. But something wasn’t quite right, I wasn’t really me at all. Fast track a couple of years- a wedding, various house moves, money worries, schooling ups and downs, I found myself at a point where I had to put my hand up and say I wasn’t coping. It was like one thing after another had been put on my shoulders and I couldn’t handle it any more. It’s easier now to look back and see the alarms, see my patience shortening, the irrational thoughts, the inability to catch up with friends for fear of not taking the right food… simple stuff but it was completely overwhelming.

Lucky for me I had amazing support and was strong enough to ask for help and know where to go. From that moment on I knew I needed to think about me and my wellbeing as I wasn’t any use to anyone feeling the way I did.

A few counselling sessions, a wonderful doctor, great friends and an understanding husband and I began to feel more like who I actually wanted to be again. It felt great.

file-3One of the constants through this was craft, I crafted all the time and thoroughly enjoyed it. I crafted my wedding, I yarn bombed trees, I made dresses and curtains, crocheted beanies and cowls. I montaged, modpodged and scrapbooked my way through my days and loved it. Another constant was nature, going for walks, getting out, picking flowers, being in the garden, even if I was sitting and crying or walking and crying, I was still out. Breathing in the outdoors gave me a strength to keep moving, I didn’t realise it at the time but it truly helped and gave me the resilience I needed to start enjoying life again.

At every opportunity we would get outdoors, head down for a walk by the beach, wander round a market and visit a favourite spot, Eden Gardens. We’d grab a coffee and wander, not talk much, the kids might go into the play area or hunt for lizards but we would enjoy every minute of it as a family.

It’s been 4 years since I started my craft business and 1-year of really feeling good so I am only just beginning my journey of becoming who I am. My business, albeit small, has given me the courage to put myself out to the crafting community and show off the talent that I have. When I saw the announcement that the applications were open for Eden Unearthed 2017, I wasn’t sure if I was up for the challenge, I wasn’t sure that I could look at myself as an artist. This was a big word to attach to myself and to be honest, I wondered if I deserved the title.

It was at this point that I thought, why not. Why not open my heart and create and share what has helped me cope with others that might be feeling the same. Did that make me an artist?  I had a vision of creating an installation that evoked conversation, that involved the community looking at it and encouraged people to be part of something, whether it be sitting or looking, touching or talking, all these elements helped me and reminded me how great I am. Perhaps creating this piece would help others in their daily struggles.

So I typed and as I shut my eyes and hit send I never truly imagined that I would now be sitting here planning and creating my art installation at Eden Gardens for Eden Unearthed 2017. To stand up and say yes, I’m an artist and I create has been a really big moment for me and I hope that you will enjoy sharing this journey with me.

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Sit. Breathe. Love

My art installation is an immersive yarn installation that encourages you to sit, just breathe and love yourself, love where you are, love others; whether it be just for that moment you are there or whether it encourages you to think and love and breathe wherever you go.

While you are there you can put your feet on the rug and feel the texture, open a book from the cupboard and read, pick up the crochet hook and create or write some words or draw a picture in a book. Spend a moment and enjoy who you are.

Me x

 

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